Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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