You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
