I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
