If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize