i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize