I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I understand Curling. That high.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
