yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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