sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
