I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
