I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
