i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
