let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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