marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
is that a dick in a sweater?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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