Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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