You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
