come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
