Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
