and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
