I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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