Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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