With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
