FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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