before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
