PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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