fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
