you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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