When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
