They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
