So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
