How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
