walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
