pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
