My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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