Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize