you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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