are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
