I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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