so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
