The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
