I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
