You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
