I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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