Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
