ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
