I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
