They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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