It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
