Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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