it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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