the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
