I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
someone owes me an orgasm
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I came so hard my ears popped.
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