there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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