i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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