i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
