i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
