Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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