the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
