Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
