Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize