It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
