can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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