i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Randomize
