I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
