thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize