Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
