My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
