Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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